The Onion savagely eviscerates all of U.S. soccer with one image of Jurgen Klinsmann

The Onion is known for carving ruthless, hilarious humor out of the daily insanity of modern American life.
So perhaps it’s thus a promising sign that the satirical publication has turned its withering eye to soccer more often lately.
But even the most irreverent, self-aware soccer fan will feel the burn from The Onion‘s latest stab at the beautiful game, a “Strongside/Weakside” infographic on U.S. Men’s National Team coach Jurgen Klinsmann that manages to subtly poke fun at Klinsmann and just about everyone else associated with the sport in the United States.
Ranging from “Not afraid to experiment with different styles of losing” to “commutes to U.S. soccer facility every day from home in Dusseldorf,” the faux breakdown scratches some of the domestic scene’s most tender itches.
And let’s face it: We all deserve the teasing, every single one of us, from Jurgen on down.
SOCCERWIRE MARKETPLACE
- OFFICIAL FC BAYERN CLINIC - MIAMI
- Soccer Marketing Internships at The St. James FC
- Job Opening: The St. James FC Goalkeeper Academy Coach
- Full-Time Director of Goalkeeping for The St. James FC
- visitRaleigh.com Showcase Series 2025, hosted by NCFC Youth
- OFFICIAL MANCHESTER CITY SOCCER CAMPS
- Join Official Elite Summer Soccer Camps with Europe’s Top Pro Clubs!
- OFFICIAL BAYERN MUNICH SUMMER CAMPS U.S.
- OFFICIAL FC BARCELONA CAMPS U.S.
- The Cup San Diego - Hosted by Legends FC